I have a thing about the number five. Like a serious THING. So 2015 was supposed to be super fantastic. Those fives, you know.
I came into 2015 with bright eyed gusto, expecting amazing things. Wonderful things. I wasn’t entirely prepared for the disappointment this year would hold. The despair that would gather around me like storm clouds bursting with angry rain.
Not family fall out that tore at the fibers of all I believed. Not frustrations with my business. Not tearful struggles with home school. Not a diagnosis of type two diabetes on top of the genetic mutation I’d just been diagnosed with months before.
I wanted–EXPECTED–soaring success in every area of my life. Because I was working hard. I thought I was dutifully earning that success. Don’t we all? I lost sight frequently of the most important things, and that elusive success feeling seemed further and further away.
But you know what? Dark nights lead to joy in the rays of dawn that follow. Coming to grips with all the disappointments this year flung at me made me wiser, stronger, more fit, and more ready than ever to conquer this upcoming new year.
It’s so easy to forget, and so hard to truly remember what faith really means when life just aches. The Savior I believe in has been there all along though, clearing the path before me. Holding every tear in His hands. Knowing my despair and my rage as they unfolded, and loving me all the while. He’s there with you, too, friend.
This year I won’t worry as much about fives as about all the many numbers that add up to real joy. Let’s be real, a favorite number doesn’t make life great. A number can’t forecast joy. Things fall apart, things hurt. But it’s up to us to be molded into the image of Christ first, and then everything else falls into place. Then joy floods the wounds.
Wonderful or desperate, life is a journey of faith. So this year, my mind will not be on a specific number, but the quantity and the quality of joy present in this life God has given me….
How many smiles light up my son’s face any given day. How many people I can touch with love this year. How many times I can hold my husband’s hand. How many times I can sing, laugh, praise, worship, serve………..how many times I can stretch and bend and grow to be just exactly what the Lord needs me to be. Join me?
Welcome, 2016. So glad you’re here!
You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on you: because he trusts in you. Isaiah 26:3